Today I brought a successful blog to an end. It is not something I saw coming but, as Mary Oliver says in ‘The Journey,’ “One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began.” Below is the last post I wrote on ‘HerMelness Speaks Out’
Being of a certain age, I have read a few posts on empty nest syndrome. Typically, this means you have raised children, not killed them in their teenage years, and seen them out of the house as semi or fully functioning adults. Hurrah for us. But given that my children have boarded since young, I knew I would be somewhat immune to the emotional carnage being experienced by my peers. That was until my last child left home for the bright lights of university.
Actually, his turning 18 and leaving home was against a backdrop of me, his mother, falling ill suddenly and being hospitalised (twice). Sure, I understood the momentum of his turning of age and leaving home but, truthfully, I was powerless to care about much outside of surviving two operations so I could continue to be a bother to my children. A job I love.
Anyway, the too-ing and fro-ing eventually comes to an end and I sit here writing this realising I have come full circle. Full circle back to me. Me post young girl, post girlfriend, post wife and post 24-hour hands-on mother.
There is a headiness in that realisation, but also a sadness for the years that have passed and the life I have lived. All come and gone in a flash. After Bronnie’s death, I found solace in writing and the ‘HerMelness Speaks Out’ blog was born. HerMelness has been a comfort and joy and taken me places not imagined the first time I hit ‘publish’ on my first article. I did not envisage a day when she (at least her blog) would have served its purpose. In the midst of grief, I did not realise there was a purpose to my finding solace writing as this larger than life alter-ego.
But with the leaving of my last child, I have come to realise that I too must evolve and grow. It is time to step out from behind HerMelness and to acknowledge the reality of my new reality. I will, therefore, no longer be writing on my first and very much loved blog. It is time to move on. Thank you for your support of HerMelness over the years; she and I have truly appreciated your company.
But hark, I am still writing. Those wishing to read me can find me writing at ‘What Mel Did,’ a space where I continue to find wonder in life and its changeability. I am there as myself Melinda and, as my tagline says, I am there in “Sincerity… and sarcasm.” I guess some things never change.
With love, me.