Before any big event, he would always say “You’ve got this.” That’s a memory I keep with me.
Hmm, I’m going away and can only take five memories with me…? Gosh, this is hard.
But this writing exercise may help me focus on what is important going forward. Important enough to invest in a memory worth keeping. With that in mind, I am going to theme the five memories I will be taking with me to this pretend desert island:
1. Life is unfair – Now effing and blinding has its place. How else do we navigate life sometimes without carrying around a daily head of steam? Yet, with the temptation to feel stuck, this memory will be a good one that unfairness need not derail us.
2. I am loved – My children and my dear family and friends will be the memory to keep me motivated and feel worthy of surviving another day.
3. How hard can it be? – This is the question which usually sees me attempting and acquiring a new skill. I suspect the question will be useful when this non-swimmer contemplates making a swim for it. After all, millions of people know how to swim – how hard can it be?
4. Death is not final – Bronnie is the memory I will draw on here. Before any big event in my life, Bronnie would always say: “You’ve got this.” But just in case I don’t got this(!), it will be comforting to know that my children will carry on and lead fulfilling lives because of the influence Bronnie and I have left behind. (And also because I’ve told them not to piss away their lives if I die. To remember the dreams we had.)
5. Expect a miracle – There are times when I believed my hand to be all played out and, like a miracle, a solution or a break showed up. I could put this down to my will, but it hasn’t always felt like that. Whether a miracle on the island happens or not, just knowing that it could will keep hope alive.